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Welcome to The Clangaverse...
(The Universe of Clang)
As of
12/15/2006 09:48 AM
Woe to all those who behold it...
A List of Acronyms for The Clangaverse
| AR: Areth CF: Clangluna Forum CV: Clangaverse. CR: Clangluna Reckoning IWKU: I Will Kill You! IWKUFT: I Will Kill You For That. LS: Loslore. |
KP: Krossplanes Kr: Kredit WOT: Way Off Topic |
A
Antarctica: Robert Fairbank's apartment (as it's always kept very very cold). Or
anyplace else that is very very cold.
Arachno Psychosis: A mental affliction that causes the sufferer to kill spiders.
Areth: Wait for it.
Assisted Suicide: (1): Killing someone that really needs to be killed. (2): Murder.
B
Back Satan!: An utterance used to ward off anti-gamer influences.
Bass-Ackwards Hat Syndrome: The habit of selected individuals to wear, otherwise perfectly good, baseball hats backwards. There are two lines of thought on this subject. The first is that the hat is worn backwards to keep rain off the wearers ass, although no evidence has been presented as to why keeping rain of one's ass is so important. The other theory is this syndrome is practiced by Thump Monkeys in order to get the full seismic effect of the (what is loosely defined as) musical "experience." Either way, the only real noticeable effect of the Bass-ackwards Hat Syndrome is to deter the sexual attraction of women. (Note: is syndrome doesn't apply to uses of functionality.)
BattleMech: (1): A large anthromorporphic fighting machine that resembles a giant robot which is taken from the (Classic) BattleTech wargame. (2): A mecha.
BCB: Acronym for Burnt Crispy Bits.
Biegler, Tim: Loyal friend and assistant to Clangador from 1985 to 1990.
Known for his questionable starship tactics and the ability to play a superior thief in
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons.
Bieglieroid: A nickname for Tim Biegler.
Bigfoot: see Sasquatch.
Bob Brew: A variety of alcohol that is favored by Robert Fairbanks.
C
Calculator-mungus: (1): Any
one of the TI-80 series graphing calculators. (2): Any large calculator.
Clang-A-Care: A subdivision of Clang-A-Corp of America. Clang-A- Care is a cut-rate medical business whose first priority is to make as much money as possible while providing the best low-quality healthcare in America.
Clang-A-Clone: A process Clangador uses to clone himself.
Clang-A-Corp: A corporation founded by Clangador in the late 1990's. It is involved in near-instant mail orders, manufacturing, and in scientific research and development.
Clangador: (1): Who is Clangador? Clangador is a complex . . . The rest of this entry deleted for reasons of Clanglunan National Security. (2): A nom de plume for Christopher J. Yoder. Clang-a-Guards: The personal body guard unit of Emperor Clangador of Clangluna. Clangluna: In 2005, Clangador made an unexpected visit to Earth's moon. And, since there was nobody there to stop him, he took it over, renaming the moon Clangluna and establishing himself as the supreme ruler. Clangluna now has three self sufficant primary life domes, each a mile or more across, and miles of subterranian passages and chambers. Clangluna is also the headquarters of Clang-a-Corp.Craptacular: (1): Something that is very crappy. (2): Could also refer to failing at a die roll or task very badly. (3): Any non-spectacular event.
Critical Failure: (1): To fail at something very badly. (2): The worst failure short of death there is.
Cthulhu: A huge eldrich entity that dwells beneath the Pacific Ocean waiting for the time "the stars are right" to rise from his slumber and destroy the Earth. Cthulhu's head looks like a squid and his body is a obscene bloated humanoid mass.
Cthulhu Gardens: (1): Any verdant area that has Cthuloid influences. (2): The nursery Bob works at. (archaic)
D
Death to Clowns! 
Dance Master, The: Nickname for Travis Anderson.
Dawn Patrol: A WW1 air combat game published by TSR Games in 1982. See dawnpatrol.org for more information.
David Howard Reaction Table, The: (1): A table
designed to simulate the lack of visible emotions shown by David Howard. (2): It is also synonymous with the lack of shown emotions.
Dark Lord, The: (1): Bill Gates, owner of the Microsoft Corporation. (2): Anyone or
thing that is very evil. (3): Sauron from The
Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Decoy Clang: Since the time Clangador discovered the secret to cheap cloning,
certain people have taken to the habit of killing Clang-A-Clones without too much thought.
So, Clangador has created a line of decoy clones to make it harder to find much less
terminate a real Clang-A-Clone.
Death March, The: An incident when Todd and Chris walked the length of the
Burnett pole lines during a hot summer's day, and Todd thought he would die of heat stroke
before the march was done.
Devil, The: Mons Johnson, master gamer.
Dew: Mountain Dew.
Dew me: (1): Pass me a dew. (2): May I have a dew? (3): If speaking to a female, a invitation for a sexual liaison.
Disbelieve!: A word uttered when a player character has had something utterly horrible happen to them and they are hoping it isn't really happening. This originated in first edition Dungeons & dragons when a player would attempt to dispel an illusion by disbelieving it.
Addendum: for example |
Dog Treat Incident: Forthcoming
Dr. Cthulhu: David Howard.
Dungeon Dressing: The interior furnishing
of a dungeon.
Dwarven Illuminati, The: A superior form of the
Illuminati that is run by Dwarves. Founded By Valcar ThunderHammer the 4th. their motto is
- Dwarf Rule, Elves Drool.
E
Eaglesnest, The:
(archaic) Clangador's former apartment located near the Tacoma Maul. A
second story apartment, it overlooked South Tacoma Way and had a car dealership across the
street from it. Sometime when someone was visiting Clangador, clangador would call the car
dealership and page the person who was visiting. The page would come over the loud
speakers of the car dealership, which could be heared in The Eaglesnest and caused much
amusment to the person being paged.
F
Fairbanks, Robert M: (AKA Jasmo, The Butcher of Buckley)
Ferris Bueller’s Medieval Day Off: The movie Ladyhawk, starring Mathew Brodrick (AKA Ferris Bueller.)
Fictional Books: Book that have never existed, but which Clangador refers to.
1.) The Art of Erotic Spork Dancing by Anonymous
2.) Slick Back the Fro: The Biography of Todd A. Dennis by Bill Dorr
3.) There’s a Lobsterman in My Car: The Biography of Clangador, the first 40 years.
Flavor Text: The name given to descriptive text in a game module or supplement. While appropriate to the game's play, it usually has no effect on the mechanics of the game. Flavor text is most often used to describe in-game situations and physical locations to help the players imagine what their characters are seeing, feeling and experiencing.
Fnord: You're not cleared for that.
Food of the Gods: (1): Teriyaki. (2): Any very tasty or good food.
Freakin' the Mundanes: Disturbing "normal" people with gamer behavior.
French Poodle, The: Travis Anderson.G
Gamer: (1): Someone who plays paper
and pencil role-playing games. (2): Anyone who plays non-traditional games.
"Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!":
(1): Words uttered by the immortal Charlton Heston as he was being assaulted by ape
soldiers on the movie The Planet of the Apes.
(2): A phrase used to forcefully indicate someone to get their hands off you.
Good Squishy: A particularly tasty beverage.
Grand Central Station: Bob's apartment; specifically this refers to the hyperactive
volume of phone calls at Bob's apartment.
Great Satan, The: Walmart.
Guppy: Anyone who moves their mouth in a fish-like manner.
H
Habanero Incident, The: When Todd Dennis ate a whole habanero pepper.
Addendum: The habanero is alleged to be the hottest pepper in the world.
Hard Stuff, The: (1): Mountain Dew. (2): Whisky.
Harsh a Gig: To interfere with or foil one's activity.
Hotel Cari, The: Any house where Todd's sister
lives. (archaic)
Howard, David X: (AKA Dr Cthulhu, Squiddy, Squidhead) Gamer for over 20 years, proto cook, known for his associations with the Cthulhu Mythos.
I
I don't know what you're talking about:
A phrase that means: "I know exactly what you're talking about," and, in fact,
the one who utters this phrase was probably involved in that act they are denying they
knowledge of.
Illuminati, The: An
extremely secretive group that either controls the world or seeks to control the world.
Illuminated Ones, The: (1):
Another name for the Illuminati. (2): Individuals that comprise the
Illuminati.
J
Jasmo: Nickname for Robert Fairbanks given by
Diane Sinclair (who was one of Clang's neighbors and friends when he was growing up).
Journey Syndrome, The: A phenomenon where the volume of a radio instantaneously
increases when a song from the rock group Journey is being played. It is believed that
this phenomenon is attributable to one Vance Anderson, but valid empirical evidence has
not been able to prove this theory.
K
Kamikaze: (1): To do something
that is likely to result in self-annihilation. (2): A Japanese
pilot in World War II assigned to make a suicidal crash on a target. (3): An
airplane containing explosives to be flown into a target.
Killwawa: A rabid breed of Chihuahua first bred by the Clang-A-Corp of America.
Known to have a taste for fox and a hatred for anything starting with the letter S.
Krossplanes: A campaign setting where are the various planes of existence collide. Also the name of a city in the campaign setting.
Knights of the Dinner Table, The: The Knights of the Dinner Table is a humorous comic book chronicling the exploits of B.A., Bob, Dave, Sara and Brian. It primarily focuses on a group of role playing gamers and their actions at the gaming table, which often result in unfortunate, but humorous consequences in the game. Many of the stories presented in KoDT are based on actual in-game experiences of the developers or readers, who are encouraged to submit story ideas. Part of the comic's popularity stems from the reader's ability to relate to the characters and their experiences to their own.Lord of the Penguins, The: Todd Dennis.
Loslore: Clangador's primary Advence Dungeons
& Dragons campaign. It has gone through many forms, but it dates back to 1984 when
Clangador first started DMing.
LV-426: (1): The planet where the alien from
the movie Alien was discovered. (2): Any environment that is very hazardous to human life
forms.
M
Mafia Drinking Syndrome: The tendency for Robert
Fairbanks to incoherently ramble about the Mafia while inebriated and gaming.
May the Dice be with You: Good luck on all your dice rolls. Addendum: a parody of "may the force be with you" from the
Star Wars saga.
Missed A Roll: An unsuccessful attempt at something.
MoparMessiah:
Mopar Misspelling Syndrome: Also called MMSyn, or the more common shorthand MSS, is characterized as a developmental disorder, and is commonly referred to as a form of high-functioning autism. In very broad terms, individuals with MSS have normal or above average intellectual capacity, with atypical or poorly developed spelling skills. ::)
Mundanes: (1): The normal human
population that isn't involved in gaming and its associated weirdness. (2): An
uninteresting person.
Multiple Cat Syndrome: (1): Owning more than one cat. (2):
The beginning stage of mental illness.
N
Necrolepsy: (1): A medical
syndrome of spontaneously induced death. (2): Death.
Nervous Sheep Syndrome, The: (1): The tendency for sheep to get
nervous around selected individuals. (2): The state of being nervous
about an upcoming event or situation. (i.e., I'm getting nervous sheep syndrome.) (3):
The feeling of impending doom.
Nova-Series of Female Clones: Made by the Clang-a-Labs in
conjunction with Clang-a-Corp just rolled out their new series of Clang-aClone Girls. The
Nova Series - the perfect woman, beautiful, sexy and silent. (i.e. - literally can't
talk.)
O
Omega Bomb (The Doomsday Device): The nuclear bomb from Beneath the
Planet of the Apes. It's described as a cobalt bomb capable of destroying the Earth.
Omega Gang, The: A gang of outlaws and ruffians once know to have
"ridden" with Clangador, in the days before he become Emperor of Clangluna.
Old Gamer's Home, The: The planned retirement community for aging gamers. All
activities at the Home will be centered around games and gaming.
Old-school Gamer: (1): A gamer that has been playing D&D since the
first edition of AD&D or earlier. (2): A gamer that is old fashioned in their gaming
ideas.
Old Vanceland: Canada.
OMCS: Orbital Mind Control Satellite. Used by the Secret Masters to enforce their
edicts.
Orc Boy: (1): Todd's mutated lazy-eyed step brother. (2): Any
overtly ugly individual.
P
Paintball Wimps: Persons that are influenced
to not play paintball due to the pain of the impact caused by flying paintballs.
Peach Evils: A gummi candy in an "O" shape that has a nasty, supposedly
peach flavor.
Phred: (1): Any peripheral member of the Group whose name is the same as one of the core members. (2): Chris Clark.
Pic-Lick: Capt. Jean Luc Picard of ST:TNG.
Pipe Weed: (1): The nicotine substance
Hobbits smoke in their pipes. (2): See Spice.
Pixie Curse: (1): A type of curse put on
innocent adventurers by evil pixies (in collusion with even more evil DMs). (2):
A type of curse that causes monitory damage such as the destruction of magic items.
Potion of Kobold Strength: (1):
A particularly useless magic item. (2): A point of comparison.
Player: My magic torch only burns in
sunlight? |
Professionaly Unemployed: (1): A bum. (2): Someone who is
unemployed and doesn't plan to be employed in the near future.
Pudding Prophecy: The prophecy that relates when a PC is killed by a Black Pudding, or
variation thereof, that PC must then kill a PC in his campaign with a pudding monster.
Pulling Report, The: A report written by Michael A. Stackpole that refutes the claims of Patricia
Pulling who is the founder of Bothered About Dungeons and Dragons (BADD) and the author of
The Devil’s Web.
Q
Quag
R
Rat on your Back: (1): An addiction. (2): Literally, when a rat gets on one's back.
Rats in a Cage Theory: This is explanation enough for this theory. We are all rats in a cage. There is no escape. We can never know who has caged us. End of story.
Rattila: A giant female humanoid bioengineer with rat DNA.
Recreational Espionage: (1): The act of covertly gathering intelligence before or during a recreational activity, in particular, role-playing games. (2): Espionage for a recreational activity. (3): Covert information gathered from one's opponents, fellow players or dungeon master.
Red Flags: Warning signs that something bad might happen (or will happen).
Rizak the Really Horrible: (1): A new arch enemy of
Clangador. (2): The thirteenth in a distinguished line of Rizaks, he is the current head
of Rizakistan. Standing a commanding 1 standard Rizaks tall, he towers over his subjects
who are all required by law to be lower in stature.
He is a master of adventure, proficient in any number of weapons and martial techniques
and pilots the fearful Glitterboy Armour. His army of robots is ever alert for danger and
without peer in both manufacture and deadliness. He is an Aries and enjoys long walks and
movies that make him cry. His weakness (if you can call it a weakness) is for good beer
and hearty cheese. Thankfully, both the Terran and Lunar facilities are equipped to keep
both in good supply.
Once a member of the Omega Gang, he left that worthy position to take the reigns of power
from his father who had died of gastric failure following one of the 4 annual Festivals of
Swine.
To learn more about this great leader of men and lover of women, send 39 Doubloons to the
Rizakistani Department of Information Dissemination for your 2 hour DVD. This is a
mandatory purchase for anyone desiring relocation to the Lunar colony.
Rizakistan:
This small country is a part of the fractured present of what was once Soviet
Russia. It was never truly conquered in the history of Russia because it is extremely
difficult to approach and deemed not worth holding by the military.Rodents of Unusual Size (RoUS): Very large rodents. Addendum: from the book and movie "The Princess Bride."
Rogues of the Gaming Table (RoGT): An informal group of gamers that get together to
play games every so often.
Members include or have included: Chris "Clangador" Yoder, Todd
"Mech Penguin" Dennis, David "Squiddy" Howard, Robert
"Jasmo" Fairbanks, Mike "BESM" Burrell?
S
Spork & Foon Proof Suit: (SFPS) A suit of battlearmor designed to protect
against spork and foon attacks.
Soylent Green: The most common use of the term Soylent Green is in reference to the
fictional food product which is made of "plankton" 
in
the 1973 film Soylent
Green starring Charlton Heston.
Other fine Soylent Drinks are...
Soylent Blue - made from the finest wombats.
Soylent Orange - made from the finest orange cats.
Soylent Yellow - made from waste byproduct
Soylent Red -
Soylent Yellow -
Smoker Monkey: Anyone who inhales the fumes of ignited tobacco products.
Specter of Death: Anyone who is frighteningly old.
Spice: See pipe weed.
Spider Rat: See
web rat.
Sphinx Controversy, The: The controversy over the age
of the Sphinx. Dr. Robert
M. Schoch believes the Great Sphinx of Giza is much older than is believed by current
Egyptologists. Dr. Schoch believes the Sphinx dates to pre-dynastic times, while most
Egyptologists date it to around 2500 BC during the time of the pharaoh Chephren (of
Khafre), who is identified with the Second Pyramid at Giza.
Spitting on the Wrists: (1):
An attempt to commit slow suicide when suffering with a tedious or dull
situation. (2): A particularly ineffective attempt at suicide.
Squiddy / Squidders / Squid Head: (1): David
Howard. (2): Cthulhu.
Stinky-City-Central: (1): The city of
Tacoma, WA. (2): Any place that has a very bad smell.
Stoker Babes: Attractive female assistants of steampunk
engineers. A good example would be Loveless' women in the recent stinker "Wild Wild West."
Swag: (1): Loot. (2):
Can refer to almost any type of profit.
Sweet Mother/Giver of Life: (1): Mountain Dew.
(2): A favorite beverage.
Surface of the Sun, The: Anyplace that is uncomfortably hot.
T
Tranya:
(1): A favored beverage. (2): A particularly
delicious drink. (3): a beverage first introduced in the original Star Trek episode
"The Corbomite Maneuver."
Triffid: A large mobile carnivorous plant featured in John Wyndham's classic
novel The Day of the Triffids, and in Simon Clark's book The
Night of the Triffids.
Toddish Appetite: (1): Infinite, limitless and without bounds.
(2): Todd's appetite for consumption of food
products. (Now archaic.)
TRI: An acronym for Three_Random_Initials.
Thump Monkey: Any person who listens to heavy bass
music too loud in their vehicle.
U
Universal.
V
Vance Syndrome, The: A syndrome characterized by the
hatred of bees and physical harm, an irrational fear of homosexuality, and the extreme
love of sleep.
Villa, The: Chris' house in Burnett, WA.
W
Warhouse 23: Allegedly a warhouse run by a joint venture between the US
Government and the Illuminati
Wearing the BIG Hat: The act of commanding a starship or other
vessel.
Wilkeson Look, The: The gaunt hollow-eyed look of humans
that dwell in the small town of Wilkeson Washington (State). often
associated with flannel shirts and Cthulhoid influences.
X
Xena
Y
Yoder, Christopher J: (Gamer extrodinaire) Started gaming in the late
1970's whle in grade school. Continued playing AD&D from that time up until 1989 when
2nd edition AD&D came out and he lost interest in the game. After that, he
dabbled in a multitude of RPGs, which lead to him playing GURPS for the next 10 years. In
1990 he started playing BattleTech and in 1992 he started playing historical wargames and
continues to do so to this date. When 3rd edition D&D was released in the year 2000,
he started playing it un until 2004. In 2005 he went back to his roots and started playing
first eidtion AD&D again. He also has a strong interest in Castles & crusades and
the OSRIC system of old school role-playing.
Yoderbane: The name of Todd Dennis' paintball gun. Many in never strike a
Yoder again.
Z
Zarlos Document:
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1998-2006. All rights reserved. Version 23 Last Updated: Friday, December 15, 2006 No squids or penguins were harmed in the construction of this page. |
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